KING MONKEYBUTT- FAIRY TALE written ONE YEAR AGO for class.

**This is an actual assignment for my class. We had to write a fairy tale. We could put a twist on an old one or write a new one. Humor was preferred. This is what I came up with and actually turned in to my teacher. Enjoy.**

King Monkeybutt

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom lived a very rich king. He had all that he desired and never went without a full meal. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for his people. A year of terrible drought brought famine to his people, and many feared for their lives as the winter approached. The King however, continued to live his lavish lifestyle, throwing extravagant parties and eating the finest of foods imported from faraway lands.

One day a young boy arrived at the castle, asking to speak with the king. Amused at the request, the guards let him in. The boy entered the great hall and found the King at his banquet table, feasting on a giant turkey. He began to explain to the King about the hardships his family was facing, along with many other families in his town.

"And what exactly do you want me to do about it?" the king demanded.

"Well, seeing as you have been living so richly, I was thinking that maybe you could give some of your personal allowance to the people of my town, so that we can make it through the winter."

"Ha!" bellowed the King. "My personal allowance? Yeah, when monkeys fly out of my butt."

Feeling defeated, the little boy turned toward the door. Suddenly, a low rumbling noise came from the King..s stomach. He grimaced as he began to shake in his seat. He shouted and jumped in the air as something burst out of his behind, ripping his pants. The little boy..s mouth dropped open in disbelief. Perched on top of the giant turkey was a monkey!

The shocked king backed up to the wall to hide his exposed bottom. "You!" he shouted, pointing at the little boy. "You did this to me!" The boy, clearly flabbergasted, just stared at him.

The king shouted at the guards, who came running in. "Seize him!" the king bellowed. "The monkey! Seize the monkey too!" A guard grabbed the boy, while another chased the monkey around the room.

Again, a rumbling came from the Kings stomach. Just as before, he shouted as a little monkey popped out of his behind. "Stop this at once!" he demanded. The rumbling resumed, and out popped another monkey. "Guards! Do something! Help me!"

A guard ran out of the room and returned with a cork, a roll of duct tape, and five pairs of extra small tightey-whities. He dumped the supplies on the table and gave out a small snort, trying desperately to suppress laughter.

"This is funny to you?" The king asked furiously.

"Well, your highness," the guard replied, "I got to thinking about how to best plug up a bum, and this is what came to mind."

The king angrily sent the guard away, refusing to use this remedy. He was determined that sheer will and strong glutes would suppress any further primate ejection. He flexed until his face was a bright shade of purple, but was unable to prevent three more monkeys from bursting out. There were now six monkeys bouncing around the great hall.

"Fine!" the king shouted, "I..ll do it! But you have to promise to look away, and stop laughing, dammit!" He took the cork and plugged his bum and started wrapping himself in duct tape. There was a low rumbling. He scrambled to put on the tightey- whities. As his stomach seemed to settle, the guards turned around to see their king, covered in tape and nearly bursting out of tiny underwear.

"It worked! They stopped," but before he could finish his sentence, he let out a wail as a huge bulge filled his underpants. There was a ripping noise as the king fell to the floor. This time the largest monkey of them all came bursting out. All of the monkeys in the room stopped bouncing. This was no ordinary monkey.

"I am a magical monkey," the creature said. "I have come from far, far down in your colon to teach you a lesson. Shame on you, living a life of excess while your people starve. It stops now. Either you agree to give some of your money and food to your people, or a monkey will fly out of your butt, every hour on the hour, for the rest of your life."

The king, humiliated and in a great deal of pain, shook the monkeys hand and agreed. The little monkeys came bouncing over and one by one, they jumped back into the king..s bum. Before the final monkey jumped in, he issued a final warning.

"We return to your bum now, but should you go back on your promise, we will be back." With that, he gave a bow, jumped in the air, and dove back into the kings butt.

The little boy was released and allowed to go home without punishment. From that day forward, the king was very generous with his people, and prosperity returned to his kingdom. He had learned his lesson. He never used that expression again, and was always sure to wear extra underwear.